Volume 1 Letter 76
From: Hazrat Sheikh-ul-Hadith Sahib (May his secret be sanctified)
To: Moulana Muhammad Hasan Tai Sahib (May his shadow be lengthened)
(Khalifa of Hazrat Moulana Asad Madani)
Said Rasullulah Sallalahu Alaihi Wassallam: There are four things from among the sunnah of the messengers modesty, scent, the tooth-stick and marriage.
Said Rasullulah Sallalahu Alaihi Wassallam: Whosoever marries a woman has verily accomplished half of his faith.
Said Rasullulah Sallalahu Alaihi Wassallam: Marriage is from my sunnah and whosoever eschews my sunnah is not of me.
Said The Jurists: There has been no worship since the time of Adam until the present day that endures even in the Jannah except for marriage.
After the sunnah greeting, I had received your correspondence some days since, however I was delayed on account of numerous commitments, in addition I mistakenly left it in a book, I searched but only came upon it at present. Foremost I would like to mention that I refrain from giving replies to legal questions, these questions should be submitted to Mufti Sahib and I advise this in reference to some of the questions you have presented.
1. Before performing the act of coition with ones wife one should commence with foreplay. It is prescribed (Masnoon) to suck, caress and kiss her to increase sexual desire, moreover it is necessary on medical grounds, as a woman’s cool natural disposition necessitates that it takes longer to reach orgasm. This way her desire is aroused and as a result orgasm is reached sooner and this also concords with medical and Islamic convention.
2. Prior to commencing coition recite: In the name of Allah. O Allah save us both from the mischief of the devil and keep the devil away from the children you may grant us.
3. The husband and wife should not be in a state of complete undress; rather one should disrobe according to requirement as Hazrat Aisha (Radhiallahuanha) has stated: I did not look upon him nor did he look upon me or words to that effect.
4. There must be no display of immodesty. Hazrat Aisha (Radhiallahuanha) says: When Rasullulah Sallalahu Alaihi Wassallam would visit his wives he would cover himself. In relation to this it is propriety ‘not to have sexual intercourse where someone might glimpse them or perceive their faint sounds also do not kiss her nor have intercourse with her in front of anyone.’
5. Do not face the Qiblah.
6. Anything spoken and done between husband and wife at that time should not be divulged.
7. Conversation during coition should be kept to a minimum. It is related in a hadith ‘Speak not abundantly during intercourse with the women lest muteness result from it.
8. Should the male ejaculate first and the woman has not yet reached orgasm, it is courteous that one continues and maintains the act. The more one gives attention to number 1 the easier it will be.
9. Upon completion wipe the private part ensuring it is thoroughly dry. At the outset it is the woman’s responsibility to arrange for a cloth. Aisha Radhiallahu Anha said: It is requisite for a wife who has reached puberty that she makes arrangements for a piece of cloth so that when her husband has intercourse with her she may hand it to him in order he may clean himself with it and thereafter clean her.
10. Should the need arise to have intercourse a second time it is necessary to clean the private part, to have intercourse in a state of uncleanness is considered as forbidden. There is no particular position during coition that I care to cite, however, from the hadith: when he sits in between her legs with both private parts adjoined I personally deduce from it that the woman be made to lie flat on her back with both legs raised up at the knees and the male sits adjacent to her and performs intercourse, Allah knows best. I humbly believe that this pose is foremost but not essential. The hadith of Abu Dawood ‘These people from the Quraish on the other hand used to expose their women in an uncomely manner. They took pleasure in them from the front, from the back…’ suggests all manners of approach were in vogue among the Sahabah.
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